9 years of my life linked to now

Wow! I just finished going through all of my running memorabilia (not including the wearable ones) and sorting it by high school and college. It kind of put running into perspective. Without sounding conceited, it also made me realize how much I actually accomplished in the 9 years that I did Cross Country and the 6 years I did track. I learned a lot of lessons about self-discipline, being a team player and always trying your hardest. Running cross country and track (and trying to do several field events, trying being the operative word) is actually what helped me find myself and my confidence as I made my way through High School. When I started 7th and 8th grade, I was definitely not one of the more popular kids, I had to switch two classes in 8th grade due to teasing by other students. But by the time I reached senior year I actually considered and still do consider the majority of the 111 kids that I graduated with my friends. Along with a lot of us growing up, I really feel that what made the biggest difference was the change in the way I carried myself. That is just one of the benefits that I gained from running. It looks like running is going to be a big part of finding myself again. Running also helped me to find friends outside of school. Looking back at all of my years running competitively, the accomplishment I am most proud of is the team winning the Quabbin Invitational my senior year. I thought I was going to die from happiness, after Lisa came running over to me with the news while I was getting the younger kids ready to run. I actually almost didn’t believe her at first. I think it meant so much to me because of how far the team had come from when I first joined in 7th grade. We were a small team that didn’t even have enough members to be split into a Junior Varsity and a Varsity. That is probably the only reason I made Varsity in 7th grade. I mean I joined in 7th grade because Amy was doing it, and I joined with no training other than running laps around my house when we fought (moms rule). I have been walking this week and feeling guilty that I was only doing 3 miles, and looked up maps for ways to do 6 miles or more. Then I realized that probably wasn’t a good idea. I finally have a way to look at where I am running wise without feeling guilty. I will look at it as if it is my seventh grade year all over again. I mean I didn’t run 10 ½ miles till I was going into my senior year at Foss camp. I joined weight watchers this weekend (again) and something my leader said really stuck with me, I believe she said it was an Allan Woody quote (I may be wrong) “The only thing that stands between me and success is me”. That really stuck with me because I think that’s something I used to live every day when I gave running my best shot all year long (and when I would annoy my coaches with a countdown to track and my parents with a countdown to cross country), However; I don’t think it is something I have been living since College. I have been blaming my failures on other people/things. I have also been using different things as excuses for my reasons for not succeeding (mainly my seizures). This weekend I caught myself trying to use many different things as an excuse not to go for a walk. It will be hard but I will stop myself from doing that anymore. Over this weekend I have also come up with some goals. My long-term goals are to be ready to run a 5k by the end of September and to lose 80 pounds (that one will take a while I know). My short term goal is to run 1 mile tomorrow. Now I plan to run the whole thing but I also will not put myself down if I have to walk a telephone pole or two. Thank you for listening to me ramble tonight I appreciate it.