Fear of failure

So today before my run I was pretty much over come with the need to have a good cry. Taking the advice of a good friend I let myself cry. I then went for my workout and didnt time it I just used the time to clear my head. I definitely didnt improveon my running but it felt good to clear my head. When I got back I wrote down everythign I thought of and this is what I wrote: I am realizing that one of the things holding me back is my fears. When did I become afraid of making mistake, trying something new or challenging. Also when did I become afraid of dissapointing others. Currently fear of failure and fear of letting others down are my biggest fears. I am sooooo afraid that if I fail or disapoint others then I will lose those people that mean the most to me. I never used to be afraid of anything. When did I become so afraid? Why did I become so afraid? When did I lose my self confidence? When did I start caring what anyone else thought about me? I think that was one of the best parts of me in hs, I didnt care what anyone thought about me I just did what I wanted to. But now all I can think about is will this upset someone else? Will this disapoint someone else? What if i fail? Will people look at me the same way? I hate that I have all this self doubt and I want to get rid ofi t but I really have no idea how to get rid of this self doubt and this fear of failure and dissapointment. I dont know what to do.