The past year

As of Wednesday it's been a year since my car accident and it's been a year of many ups and downs. Obviously one of the lows was the seizure and accident itself. It was really scary and emotional. I’ve been driving all summer but it took me till a couple weekends ago to drive by where I had the accident. The accident also changed how I lived. I moved back home (thank god for family support) so I could get to and from work easier. I also had to stop living like there was nothing wrong with me. I have had to be realistic in terms of what my body can and cannot handle. I have to monitor my sleep, my stress and my exercise. I need a minimum 7 hrs. sleep (except on rare occasions) and have to keep my stress level to a minimum (not always the easiest thing for me to do) I also need (and love) exercise. I love to run (yeah yeah I know you’re sick of hearing that one) but I was told my goal of running a marathon was out of the question. I also was told that for the foreseeable future my goal of running a half marathon is out of the question as well. I know those are minor setbacks (devastating to me at the time not as much now) and I am enjoying just being able to run. As much as the accident changed my life I still know how lucky I am to be alive today.
There were many other low points this year, a lot of them having to do with my self-esteem, frustrations and lasting effects of the accident. This year has been really rough on me emotionally. Last year before my seizure I was finally feeling like I was in a great spot in life and then the accident happened. It made me feel like I had taken 3 steps backwards. I think that was a lot of my self-esteem issues really being triggered this year. I started getting frustrated with everything and thinking I wasn’t good enough. That is a cycle I have unfortunately been stuck in for a while not just this year. My emotions were definitely all over the place this year.
Saying all of that this year hasn’t been all bad  .There have been numerous great times and good things that have come out of the negatives this year. Obviously one of the best things that happened to me this year was becoming an Aunt for the first time! I love baby Michael so much. He is absolutely amazing and I couldn’t be any happier when I am with him. Also I am helping my sister get ready for her wedding in April. I am also changing my attitude on a number of things including my outlook on taking care of myself and what I can and cannot do. I am also looking at the positives more than the negatives. Another great positive this year is friends. I have made great friends at work as well as strengthened some of my longer friendships. My friendships are one of the things that really got me through this year. All of my friends have helped me out at one point this year. I love you all but really want to take the time out today to specifically thank two of you. Christina C and Lisa D, You are both amazing for some of the same reasons and some different reasons as well

Christina- So we first met at Market Basket, and who would have thought our friendship would have lasted this long. I didn’t but I am very glad it did! You have been there for me all year helping me to get out of the house and escape real life when I needed it. You even came and picked me up with 4 kids in your car when I couldn’t drive. You listen to me vent whenever I need it. Thank you for being there for me no matter how crazy I can be!

Lisa- I know I have said this before but thank you!! 17 years later (yes it was 17 years ago that I was in 7th grade) and you are still there for me. It means more than you know. It really has helped this year to know that someone else understood what I was going through at times. I really leaned on you a lot this year and you never seemed to mind. You always seem to know what to say to kick me out of the slump I am in. We may not get to see each other a lot but it is great knowing you are always there for me.

Sharing this picture because looking at it gives me a mental image of how strong I am and I need that reminder sometimes.